Life Review: TTC

She Said,

"So you never take the TTC? You walk everywhere? What if you had to go to Scarborough? How would you get there? The bus to Scarborough. Would you finally take the bus then?"

Actual Response:

"Why would I ever need to go to Scarborough?"

Ideal Response:

"So when are you going to invite me to Scarborough?"

* * *

If only real life had mulligans.

Consider This!: My Face

So I have this face wound on my upper lip, and so today I got to make a battered wife joke.

"Hey Justin, what happened to your face?"

"What? Oh... uh this... I uh walked into a uh... a door."

It was awesome. No one laughed.

Or at least it would have been awesome had anybody been considerate enough to ask and had any of this actually happened.