Deer in the Headlights

So I walking home after an afternoon of buying books (stupid, sexy bookstores and their stupid, sexy books) and groceries, and as I'm waiting at some lights to cross the street, there's something so insane and inane involving an old man and a car. On the opposite crosswalk, as people cross the street a car waits to make a left turn. So this car starts to make the turn expecting the people crossing be where they are when he reaches that point instead of out of the way before he starts this turn (This Is Toronto, afterall, and Toronto driving). And bringing up the rear of people crossing the street is this senior citizen, already slow as his body has no doubt been ravaged by age and a sense of self-aggrandizement for being part of "The Greatest Generation." So he's sees this car turning, and he freezes. Like he's caught in the headlights. So this car is waiting to turn, blocking the oncoming lane (luckily no cars coming). And this old man just stands there (and he's not as decrepit as I've made him sound). Finally, he moves out the way, but come on? Caught in the headlights? Nevermind the fact that it's fifteen degrees out and sunny as hell. And he's wearing sunglasses.

Film Review: The Notebook

The Notebook

Directed by Nick Cassavetes. Written by Jeremy Leven based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks.

Starring Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams, James Garner, and Gena Rowlands.

2004.

I could have done without the old people.

Why Old People Like Children

So, I was riding on the world class-St. Catharines Transit today and there was this old man of indeterminate origin sitting on the sideways benches at the front across from the blond I was trying to check out (although, there was a graph in the book she was reading; never a good sign).

So this woman and child get on the bus and she sets the child down next to the old man before she goes and pays her toll or hits on the bus driver or whatever. The old man obviously takes the initiative to act as temporary guardian of the child because old people love children, right? This creeps me out.

Although, I doubt it creeps the child out. I mean it's a child; it probably has tons of experience with old people. Pinching cheeks and what not. Probably even has grandparents. Two full sets even (collect them all). There was really nothing at all wrong with the situation. It's really my problem: old people creep me out.

But it got me thinking: why do old people like children? For their youth, of course.

Old People are vampires.

Their interest lies in stealing, or soul sucking, the youth off of children. They suck the life out of you just like they suck the fun out of life.

Furthermore, they are reverse vampires. They can't go out at night. The night is cold, and soul-dampening. And it explains their fondness for early bird dinners (besides the fact that old people are cheap).

Society's only solution is to fight fire with proverbial fire.

Old people need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.