The Duelists: Alexander Pushkin

Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin lived from seventeen ninety-nine until eighteen thirty-seven and was a poet of the Russian Empire. He was also a Romantic, a Freemason, a Greek revolutionary, social critic and Soviet forbearer, and the poet of Russia.

While in great debt and his wife a huge fucking slut, Alexander Pushkin's honour was offended by Georges-Charles de Heeckeren d'Anthès, French émigré, lieutenant in the Knights Guards of the Empress and Pushkin's brother-in-law of one month having married the sister of Pushkin's wife and huge fucking whore, Natalya. Consequently, d'Anthès shot Pushkin, mortally wounding him in the stomach. Pushkin managed to rise for a return volley at d'Anthès but succeeded in only wounding him lightly in the arm. D'Anthès was with Pushkin's giant fucking slut-whore of a wife, Natalya, cuckolding Pushkin. Still, while on his deathbed, he would pardon d'Anthès of any wrongdoing. D'Anthès is said to have quipped, "Well, tell him that I forgive him, too." Alexander Pushkin died two days later.

The year was 1836.



In Media

D'Anthès is purportedly the namesake for the title character of Alexandre Dumas' novel The Count of Monte Cristo, Edmond Dantès.

The Duelists: Andrew Jackson

Andrew Jackson lived from seventeen sixty-seven until eighteen forty-five and he was a politician of the United States. He was also prisoner-of-war, saddle-maker, lawyer, and seventh President of the United States.

While a slave-owning cotton farmer, and already a former jurist and U.S. Senator, Andrew Jackson's honour was offended by Charles Dickinson, expert marksman and professional duelist whose record numbered twenty-six kills. Consequently, Jackson shot Dickinson, placing a .70-caliber bullet in Dickinson's abdomen and severing an artery, in a return volley after having already taken one ball in the ribs. Jackson had planned for Dickinson to fire first. Andrew Jackson fired true and he had his satisfaction that day. Charles Dickinson died a few hours later. Dickinson had insulted his wife, at the prompt of Jackson's political opponents. Jackson had fought thirteen such duels. Dickinson's bullet remained lodged close to his heart for the rest of his days.

The year was 1806.

The Duelists: Aaron Burr

Aaron Burr lived from seventeen fifty-six until eighteen thirty-six and he was a politician of the United States. He was also war hero, adventurer, vice-president to Thomas Jefferson.

While vice-president, Aaron Burr's honour was offended by Alexander Hamilton, former first Secretary of the Treasury and current face of the ten dollar bill. Consequently, Burr shot Hamilton with a Wogdon dueling pistol with a hairpin trigger and mortally wounded him in the agreed upon duel. Hamilton had chosen the pistols. Aaron Burr fired true and he had his satisfaction that day. Alexander Hamilton died one day later.

The year was 1804.

In Media

Burr, Gore Vidal

Saturday Night Live, A Digital Short, "Lazy Sunday":

"You can call us Aaron Burr from the way we're dropping Hamiltons."