Phantom Limb :: Paranoid Schizophrenic

So we all know how when somebody loses a limb, they still sometimes have sensations from they missing limb as a result of some firing synapses connected to nerves that should be in the missing area? Phantom sensations, if you will.

And then there is the sensation among cell phone users, whose phones are set to vibrate, of there phone ringing, vibrating, when it is doing no such thing. The worst of these vibrations is when your phone is not even on you.

Then there was the feeling I experienced the other day. My phone was in my pocket. And it was hot. It was getting hotter. Oh god, what was this heat that was in my pocket threatening to burn a hole in my thigh? Why would my phone do such a thing? I thought you loved me. Then I pulled the phone out of my pocket, and the motherfucker was cooler than a fonzarelli.