Routine

Warm-up. Eight pull-ups. Fifty jumping jacks. Stretch. Eight chin-ups. Pull-ups and chin-ups both use the chin-up bar. Pull-ups use a pronated grip, palms out. Chin-ups use a supinated grip, palms in. Treadmill. Start machine. On-speed is 1.6 kilometres per hour. Or 1 mile per hour. The machine is calibrated to the imperial system but the display output is in metrics. Increase speed to 3.5 kilometres per hour within ten seconds. Move onto tread, begin walk. Use MP3 player to divert boredom. Insert right earbud, increase speed to 3.7 kilometres per hour. Insert left earbud, increase speed to 3.8 kilometres per hour. Hitch tie player to treadmill handbar. Increase speed to 4.0 kilometres per hour. Tighten hitch, increase speed to 4.2 kilometres per hour. Release player's manual slide lock, increase speed to 4.3 kilometres per hour. Turn on player, increase speed to 4.5 kilometres per hour. Press play, shuffle begins as player previous set to random playback. Increase speed to 4.7 kilometres per hour. Plug in earphones, increase speed to 4.8 kilometres per hour. Less than one minute into walk. Crack water bottle seal. Remember to keep hydrated. Read. Read a page, increase speed. Read a page. Increase speed to 5.0 kilometres per hour. Read a page. Increase speed to 5.2 kilometres per hour. Read a page. Increase speed to 5.3 kilometres per hour. Read a page. Increase speed to 5.5 kilometres per hour. Read a page. Increase speed to 5.6 kilometres per hour. Read a page. Increase speed to 5.8 kilometres per hour. Read a page, increase speed to 6.0 kilometres per hour. Read a page. Increase speed to 6.1 kilometres per hour. Read a page. Increase speed to 6.3 kilometres per hour. Read a page, increase speed to 6.4 kilometres. Less than ten minutes into walk. Walking speed has been reached. Tread can be inclined. Angle is measured in degrees. Degrees are measured positively in relation to the plane of the floor. Incline can be raised in increments of 0.5 degrees. Read a page, increase incline to 0.5 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 1.0 degree. Read a page. Increase incline to 1.5 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 2.0 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 2.5 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 3.0 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 3.5 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 4.0 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 4.5 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 5.0 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 5.5 degrees. Read a page. Increase incline to 6.0 degrees. Incline is satisfactory, continue reading. 30:00. Increase speed to 8.5 kilometres per hour, jogging speed. Increase incrementally, but as quickly as possible. Jog. 31:00. Use pre-set button to resume walking speed, 6.4 kilometres per hour. Walk. Read. 40:00. Increase speed to 8.5 kilometres per hour. Jog. 42:00. Return to walking speed, 6.4 kilometres per hour. Walk. Read. 50:00. Increase speed to 8.5 kilometres per hour. Jog. 53:00. Return to walking speed, 6.4 kilometres per hour. Walk. Read. 60:00. Increase speed to 8.5 kilometres per hour. Jog. 65:00. Return to walking speed, 6.4 kilometres per hour. Walk. 66:20. Decrease incline to 5.0 degrees. Treadmill contains limited number of displays. Time and pace share a single display cyclically. Pace is minutes per kilometre. Cycle runs in approximately 20 second intervals. Use cycle to synchronise slowdown pace. 66:40. Decrease incline to 4.0 degrees. 67:00. Decrease incline to 3.0 degrees. 67:20. Decrease incline to 2.0 degrees. 67:40. Decrease incline to 1.0 degree. 68:00. Decrease incline to 0.0 degrees. 69:00. Decrease speed, incrementally, to 6.0 kilometres per hour. 69:20. Decrease speed, incrementally, to 5.5 kilometres per hour. 69:40. Decrease speed, incrementally, to 5.0 kilometres per hour. Display returns to clock. Decrease speed, incrementally, with each second until... 70:00. Dead stop. Machine calculations: 19+ laps. 7.6+ kilometres. 820+ calories. 260+ fat. Towel down self, machine. Don't forget to bring a towel. Eight pull-ups. Twenty-five push-ups. Twenty-five crunches. Eight chin-ups. Twenty-five push-ups.